You don't have to talk to every new person who comes your way, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel. Introduce yourself to people you don't know. If you're in a group of friends and a new person who other people know comes on the scene, take the initiative.
Give more invitations. Part of being friendlier is showing that you want to spend more time with other people. How do you do that?
You invite them to do stuff. Start small by inviting a group of people to a movie, a free concert, or to grab coffee or ice cream some time, and see how much friendlier you feel after they eagerly accept your invitation. Make a goal of inviting people to do more things with you at least once a week and you'll be living a friendlier life.
Invite acquaintances to hang out one on one and turn your acquaintance into a real friendship. Throw a party. Invite an eclectic crowd of people and have fun introducing them to each other. Accept more invitations. Another way to be friendlier is to say yes when people ask you to do stuff. You may be afraid of hanging out with people you don't know that well, or you may be too busy. Maybe you just prefer to hang out with yourself, a bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream, and Snookums, your pet ferret.
But you have to get over all that if you want to be friendly. Start accepting people's invitations to go to the movies, dinner, or to a party. You don't have to say yes to something that sounds completely horrible. But the next time you really want to say no, ask yourself what is behind your impulse. Are you afraid of something new? Socially anxious? Or just feeling lazy? These aren't the greatest reasons to miss out on a good time. Have a bustling social life. If you want to be friendlier, then you have to spend more time with your friends.
Spending more time around other people will make you be a more socially aware and sensitive person who is used to talking to other people. Try to fill your calendar with parties, social engagements, group hiking, biking, swimming trips, and other fun friend-filled outings if you want to be friendly more regularly.
To have a bustling social life, you have to make your social life a priority. Don't let work, school, or other commitments get in your way -- not too much, at least. It's important to have a busy social life, but you should also save some time for yourself. You'll need to decompress, especially if you're not used to spending so much time around other people. Practice being friendlier to people you don't like.
This may be a tough pill to swallow. You don't have to become BFFs with your greatest enemy to work on being friendlier to people in your orbit -- whether it's your uptight math teacher, your crotchety uncle, or that kind-of quiet girl who is on the fringes of your social circle.
You'll be surprised by how good you'll feel about being nicer to someone instead of giving them the cold shoulder, and that person may surprise with friendliness in return. Make a list of 5 people that you have always treated sort of coldly. Find ways to be nice to each of these people -- even if you feel they don't deserve it. Forgiveness is a key quality to being friendlier.
Holding grudges can make you angry on the inside, and that may affect your attitude on the outside. Overcome your insecurities.
Part of the reason that you may not be the friendliest person in the world might be that you're lacking confidence and think that people will judge you any time you open your mouth. Ask yourself what lies behind your distrust or coldness to other people and see if it has to do more with what you think of yourself. If that's the case, then work on loving the person you are, loving what you do, and addressing the flaws that need some work. Of course, overcoming your insecurities can take years of hard work, but recognizing this as one of the sources of your problem with being friendly can make you be more willing to be nice to others.
Remember that they may be just as insecure as you are, maybe more. Befriend people of your age and stage. A stage of life could be being a college student, being a young professional, being a middle-aged mother, or being an older person who spends more time alone.
Finding people who are around your age and your stage will make you more likely to find time to hang out and will give you more things to talk about. For example, if you're a young mother, join a young mothers group and you'll be on the way to making some amazing new friends.
Show a genuine interest in people. This is the key to not just looking friendly, but actually being a friendly person. A real friendly person actually cares about others and wants to make them feel comfortable. A real friendly person is concerned when others are upset and uplifted when others are happy; a real friendly person doesn't talk to people just to look cooler or to have more Facebook friends.
If you really want to be friendly, then you have to remember this whenever you talk to people. If you actually care about them -- they will be able to tell.
Of course, you can't possibly take an interest in everyone in your orbit. But the more you try to be nice to people, the more natural it will feel. Remember that being friendly has nothing to do with being fake. And that it has everything to do with being more approachable, treating people with respect, and giving off a positive energy. Surround yourself with friendly people. Not only will they model the kinds of behaviors that you want to emulate, but you may find that their positive energy and friendly attitudes are contagious!
When you are around friendly people, others will feel better about approaching you. If becoming like this is one of your goals, here are some general pointers on how to act like a more friendly, social person.
A quick, good-enough definition of "friendly" could be being nice to, and interested in, others. I'd define "social" as spending a fair amount of time with people and enjoying it. The points in this article describe behaviors. If someone is already in a headspace where they like people and are interested in everyone, many of the actions below will come naturally. The thing is having a certain disposition is easier said than done.
However, regardless of how you're feeling, you can still carry out these friendly and social behaviors in the situations where you've decided doing so is important to you.
The ideas here don't suggest that you need to turn into a phony, or a needy suck up, or an over-the-top caricature of a friendly person. Be fairly low key about implementing the points below. They should also be thought of as a general approach to how you interact with people. A serious macho guy and a more sensitive artist type can use the same basic concepts and still maintain their own style.
These points will be harder to follow if you're wired to be less-social, but still want to act in a more friendly, sociable way in at times. Trying to do everything here, or go all out with each suggestion, may be too draining. Only apply the ideas that seem manageable, and don't feel you have to take them to an extreme.
If you've recently been introduced to someone, or there are some new people around, see if you can start a conversation. Maybe you have time to get to know them better.
Maybe you can only talk for a minute or two about the line you're both waiting in. It's not the deepest interaction, but you made a little connection with someone. That's friendlier than keeping to yourself. Have you ever tried making pleasant conversation with someone you've run into, and they blew you off by giving one-word responses and obviously looking like they don't want to be spoken to?
You probably walked away thinking they were pretty unfriendly, even if you intellectually knew they may have had a reason for being brusque. If someone is trying to chat with you, make an effort to give them something back in return. Even if you can't talk for long, engage with them at least a little. If you see someone you know, then go over and find out how they're doing. People will be attracted to be near you, like pieces of metal on magnets, if you appear to be approachable. Making friends and interacting will come so much easier for you this way and people will actually be curious to get to know who you are.
With that said, here are ways you can become more approachable. Our phones are a major part of our lives now. Everything from contacts, pictures, business emails, and even music are all stored in these little devices.
The goal is to socialize, not get stuck in social media. Bringing up your phone at a party and continuously staring at it for the rest of the night will make everybody else not want to approach you. You will appear guarded and unapproachable. Afterward though, put them back in your pocket and continue your conversation without your phone. Always keep a curious mindset. Ask others questions about themselves constantly.
Show that you care about knowing them. By saying the food at the party is amazing, you can deduce that their mother must cook amazingly too.
Do you see her a lot? They will appreciate your interest and attentiveness. Others will realize this too, thus making you a more approachable presence moving forward. You need to be able to open yourself up if you want to be more approachable. You allow yourself to be more relatable, and thus more approachable if you allow yourself to be vulnerable. The best way to do this is to just be straight and start opening up to others.
Be yourself. Be genuine about who you are. People will approach you more. You can start by telling others true stories about you. Tell them about your childhood, your dreams, and aspirations, the things you love, a few embarrassing secrets, the works. Everyone has those too. So let them see the real you. No masks and facades. Everyone else will do you the same favor. So be more open, and be more vulnerable. In doing so, you become more approachable. Adding humor in your social arsenal is one of the best ways to make people approach you more.
Be a source of laughter and people will have an amazing time being around you. The best thing you can do for developing your humor is studying stand up comedians. Who best to turn to but the people who do it for a living, right? Watch as they entertain the crowd with jokes and how the stadium their in fill with laughter. These guys are masters at making people laugh and you can learn a lot from them.
Just study how they structure them. Follow their setup, build-up, punchline formula. This is usually how their jokes go:. Most comedians follow this three-step formula when telling their jokes and stories.
Go on video streaming sites, search for stand-up comedians, and find one that fits your style of humor. You can then use them as inspiration. Your body language will dictate how approachable you are. As mentioned earlier, if you appear guarded, no one will want to approach you. Take everything you learned from that point and still apply it here. If the goal is to be more approachable, adjust your body language in a way that makes you open, but cool at the same time.
Keep a very cool, stylish, and clean wardrobe. Dress the best way you can wherever you go. You also need to groom yourself. So often, we view the smiling, sweet, chatty person as kind of dimwitted, or vulnerable, or even fake. But despite the fact it can freak people out, I honestly think we should all be more friendly in everyday life. Because, no matter what the mean critics say, friendliness is a wonderful quality to have. Not only does it make other people happy, but it can make life better for you, as well.
Think about getting ahead at work yes, even in cutthroat offices , having more fun on dates, and attracting all sorts of super caring friends.
Seriously, being lovely and warmhearted is what we should all strive for — if not always, then at least some of the time. As Rick Hansen, Ph. With all of that in mind, check out these ways to bring a bit more friendliness into your life, because yes — it's totally worth it. You can walk around all stoney-faced and closed off, or you can be the cool, smiling person who acknowledges there are other people exist.
The latter is so much friendlier, and not even that difficult to do. I promise. Simply make eye contact with the people you pass on the street, and toss out a few nods and smiles. And just like that, you'll be the friendliest person on the block. Talking can be a bit harder to get used to, but try to get in the habit of striking up conversations.
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